Toilet training

Not all tamariki are the same when it comes to toilet training. You may see signs that your child is ready for toilet training from around 2 years old. Some tamariki may be ready from as early as 18 months. Some may be older than 2 years.

Signs they may be ready

Tamariki may show a range of signs when ready for toilet training. You don't need to see all of these signs. Look for a general pattern to know when it's time to begin toilet training. Teachers or other whānau members may notice signs that your child is ready for toilet training.

Physical signs

• They have dry nappies for more than 2 hours.
• They have regular, soft, formed poo.
• They are walking and can sit for short periods of time.
• They can pull their pants up and down.

Social signs

• They're interested in watching others go to the toilet.
• They show some independence.
• They want to do things on their own.

Communication signs

• They can understand and follow simple instructions. 
• They tell you when they’ve done a poo or wee in their nappy.
• They don't like wearing a nappy, perhaps trying to pull it off when it’s wet or soiled.
• They can let you know when they need to go toilet.

Potty or toilet

Tamariki can start toilet training using the toilet or a potty. Some tamariki may like one better, but you can encourage your child to use both. The potty is easier to move around, and some tamariki find it less scary at first. 

Footstool

A footstool can help your child get up to the toilet seat and gives them somewhere to rest their feet when sitting. 

Image credit: Depositphotos

Smaller toilet seat

A smaller seat that fits within the bigger seat will allow your child to sit comfortably on the toilet. 

Pull-ups and training pants

If your child is no longer wearing a nappy, they are more likely to understand that they need to use the toilet or potty. Training pants and pull-ups are less absorbent than nappies. They can hold any accidents that may happen. Pull-ups help tamariki get used to wearing underwear.

Letting your child set the pace when they are toilet training is important. It’s not helpful to force them to learn too fast.

You can prepare them for toilet training by teaching them words such as ‘poo’ and ‘wee’. You can put wet and dirty nappies into the potty after you’ve changed your child. This can help them to understand what a potty is used for. 

You could let them watch you using the toilet and talk to them about what you're doing. 

Putting them into training pants 1 to 2 times a day gets them used to the feeling of wetness.

Make sure your child drinks plenty of water. It's important to have lots of fibre in their diet. Water and fibre help to keep their poo soft so they don’t get constipated. Constipation can make toilet training more difficult. Read more about constipation in children.

Aim to start toilet training when no big changes are coming up for your whānau. It's also helpful to start on a day when you're planning to stay at home. You will need time to help guide your child on their toilet training journey. 

See the Raising Children, Australia website(external link) for tips on things such as:

• when to take your child to the toilet
• how to encourage and motivate your child
• how to dress your child
• how to keep your child clean.

Starting toilet training is easier when you can stay close to home for a few days. But you will need to leave the house at some stage, so it’s helpful to prepare. 

When you are away from home, you can:

• check where the nearest toilet is
• carry a spare change of clothes and underpants for your child
• have a waterproof bag handy to carry dirty clothes
• let your child’s teacher know your child is toilet training
• let friends and whānau know your child is toilet training.

Bedwetting is common, even in school-aged tamariki. Staying dry overnight can take longer than daytime toilet training. If your child regularly has a dry nappy first thing in the morning, you can try and stop nappies at night. 

Read more about bedwetting in children.

Accidents, or not getting to the toilet or potty in time, will happen while your child is toilet training. Some tamariki might get upset if they have an accident. Reassure your child that it’s OK. 

To avoid accidents, take your child to the toilet as soon as they tell you or show you they need to go. Check with your child if they need to go toilet before an outing or activity. It may also be helpful to check regularly if they need to use the toilet, especially if they're busy.

Having a toilet or potty nearby can help lessen the chance of accidents. Asking your child to wee just before bed may help keep them dry overnight. This can also help get them into a good routine.

It's quite common for some tamariki to start to wee or poo in their pants again. This may happen if something changes in their life, such as getting a new sibling. It’s okay if this happens. 

Some things you can try include:

• trying to understand what caused this to happen
• remaining calm when accidents happen
• changing your child in a calm manner
• reminding your child to use the toilet, busy kids can forget
• giving your child praise when they use the toilet
• trying fun rewards for using the toilet, such as a sticker chart.

Some tamariki may experience soiling if they are constipated. Constipation can block and stretch their bowel. When the bowel gets overloaded, poo can trickle down or overflow. Often this happens without a child noticing. If you are worried this is happening with your child, talk to your healthcare professional. Read more about soiling.

Toilet training can be an exciting stage of development for your child. 

Here are some other tips for toilet training for your child:

• Let your child set the pace  – allow them to learn in their own time.
• Look for signs that your child's ready.
• If what you’re trying isn’t working, stop and try again in a couple of weeks.
• Support your child with encouragement and positive feedback.
• Dress your child in pants that are quick and easy to pull up and down.
• Remain consistent - switching back and forth to nappies can confuse tamariki.
• If someone else is looking after your child, let them know your child is toilet training so it is consistent.
• Make toilet training fun with things like a sticker chart.
• Read books and play toilet training games(external link) with your child to help them prepare.
• Expect accidents – it may take a while for tamariki to get it right.
• Try to remain positive, calm and patient during toilet training.
• If you're finding toilet training frustrating or difficult, reach out for support.

Toilet training can be a stressful and frustrating time for parents and whānau. If you are finding it difficult, there is support available. 

You can reach out to PlunketLine(external link) (0800 933 922), your Well Child provider or your healthcare provider if:

• your child is finding toilet training difficult
• your child is very stressed about toilet training
• toilet training doesn’t appear to be working despite multiple calm attempts.