The SKIP resource Conscious Parenting: Module One(external link)(external link) identifies three styles of parenting and some examples of a child’s likely behaviour as a result of that style. Many parents use more than one style, depending on their circumstances or situation.
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1. The rock
The rock style of parenting (also known as brick wall) has strict rules that are rigidly enforced with unquestioning obedience expected. It emphasises respect for authority without giving reasons or understanding.
Child’s likely behaviour: Doubts own abilities, slow in building self-confidence and resilience.
2. The tree
The tree style (also known as backbone) has a firm setting of and sticking to limits. Children are allowed freedom while clear standards for behaviour are set. Children’s views are listened to and reason is used.
Child’s likely behaviour: Self-motivated, good self-esteem, respectful of others.
3. The paper
The paper style (also known as jellyfish) lacks boundaries or limits. Conflict is avoided at all costs, especially if the child is getting upset. Parents tend to rescue their child so the child avoids failure and disappointment.
Child’s likely behaviour: Insecure and overly dependent, less able to tolerate frustrations, unaware of how their actions affect others.
Find out your parenting style: take the Tākai parenting style quiz(external link)