Bullying refers to repeated episodes of abuse between people from the same age group where an imbalance of power makes it difficult for the victims to defend themselves.
Bullying takes many forms. It can be:
- physical – hitting, kicking, punching, shoving, tripping, taking or damaging belongings, or making someone afraid of being hurt
- verbal – name calling, saying nasty things, making fun of someone, threats, writing mean things, leaving unkind notes
- social – leaving them out of activities, spreading rumours or personal information, embarrassing them, telling lies about them, not sitting next to them in class or at lunch
- cyberbullying – bullying online, via the internet, mobile phones and social media. Read more about online bullying and how to deal with it.
Bullying is a relationship problem
Bullying is common worldwide among children and young people. All sorts of people can be targeted, and for many reasons – even just standing out as being different from their peers can make a child a target. This can include things like how they look, what they believe, or how they perform in school.
Sometimes, kids who bully are struggling themselves. They might not be getting enough attention, feel powerless, or lack love in their own lives. Bullying can be a way for them to feel strong and in control, even if it hurts others. They often don't understand the pain they cause. Sometimes, those who bully may also be victims of bullying themselves.
Bullying is repetitive behaviour
While children can be unkind or insensitive at times, bullying has specific features which make it more serious and harmful. Bullying is when a child is targeted again and again – it's not a one-off event.
Bullying is deliberate
Bullying is usually intentional, which means the person who is bullying knows they're hurting someone. Bullying can be aggressive, harmful behaviour. Because it involves an imbalance of power, it can be difficult for those being bullied to defend themselves.
Bullying is complex
It can be physical, verbal or social. It can be obvious or hidden, so school teachers may be unaware. Verbal and social bullying can be just as harmful as physical bullying. It can also occur across different contexts – although it often occurs at school, it can also take place in the neighbourhood or at home between brothers and sisters.
Bullying is harmful
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for children to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying has serious consequences – it can make children feel lonely, unhappy, frightened, unsafe and think that there must be something wrong with them. Sometimes bullying results in physical injury, eg, punches. Bullying can also be linked to mental health problems, in children and young people but also continuing into adulthood. Bullying early in life has also been linked to physical health problems for victims when they become adults.
If bullying involves physical threats or aggression and you're worried about your child’s safety, contact police by calling 111 in Aotearoa New Zealand. |
Most bullying behaviour is hidden from adults. Talk to your child about school or social groups if you're worried, or think there might be something 'off' with their usual behaviour.