Remember, if you have been sexually assaulted, it’s not your fault. The responsibility for sexual assault lies with the person who did it. It doesn’t matter whether you had been drinking, were out late at night, what kind of clothes you were wearing or if you had agreed to go out on a date with them.
It’s normal to feel upset, scared, angry, numb or shut down, and you might also feel disbelief, humiliation, disgust, guilt, regret, self-blame and want to keep it a secret. Talking about it with someone can help you work through these feelings.
Get help from your doctor
It’s a good idea to see your doctor so they can treat any injuries and protect you against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. They may also refer you to a specialised doctor to collect forensic evidence in case you decide to report the assault to the police.
You are in charge of your body, and you can say no to any part of the examination. They may prescribe medication to stop an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection. You may need to go to a follow-up appointment with your doctor to see if the medications have worked and to talk about what support you need.
Decide whether to report the assault to the police
It’s your choice whether or not to report your sexual assault to the police. If you decide to, you can take someone with you as a support person. The police can also help to arrange a medical assessment and make sure you have all the support you need.
If you are over 16 years old, you can see a doctor without having to report your assault – many are not reported and it’s up to you whether you do or not.
Get some support
Tell someone you trust – a friend, family/whānau member, teacher or church leader. Let them be there for you. You might not know what you need at times, but at least you have someone you can talk to when you need to.
Talk to a professional
It can also help to talk about what has happened with a counsellor or psychotherapist. They are used to helping people through these kind of experiences. You can do this straight away or many years later. There is free support available for you funded by ACC. Read about ACC's sexual assault support(external link).
As well as any injuries and distress at the time, over time you might start to experience PTSD, depression, anxiety or thoughts about suicide. If this happens, it’s important to get help as soon as you notice yourself feeling this way.
Look after yourself
Take good care of yourself while you are recovering by:
- getting plenty of sleep
- eating nourishing food
- doing gentle exercise
- spending time with close friends
- doing relaxing activities, such as baths, walks, good books and soothing music
- avoiding alcohol and drugs.
